A Taste of both Worlds: Life as a Stay Home Mum and a Working Mum
Guest Contributor: Ofuje Onifade
Just like me, so many mums believe the grass is greener on the other side. It is the challenge of the working mum vs the stay at home mum.
I wish I were that mum driving to work vs I wish I could jog in the morning like that mum. I wish had more time vs I can do more with my life.
This money is not worth it vs this stress is not worth it. I wish I spent more time with my kids vs I need some time off from this kids.
I should be taking care of my kids’ vs I should be working. Staying at home will help me focus on my purpose vs maybe working will clarify my purpose.
I am a financial consultant with 10-years working experience. A year ago, I took a break from work and become a stay-at-home-mum. My experience has been everything I dreamed of and at the same time, nothing I could ever imagined. It is fair to say that I finally got a taste of both world.
From a very young age, I had always wanted to be a career woman. I wanted to have my own money, have kids, have a loving husband and we will live happily ever after.
I have everything I wanted with the exception of the ‘happily ever after.’ My reality was either nanny drama, work pressure, not been able to show up for school events. I felt guilty about not spending enough time with my family... the list was endless. I was overwhelmed by all my responsibilities and decided to take a break.
It was a new life of sleeping and waking up when I like. I could dress the boys for school, I ate breakfast with them, dropped them at school, went jogging on week days, and did homework with the boys. I also didn’t have to bother about the nanny’s attitude.
Life was beautiful! I had embraced the change of working mum to a stay at home mum but not for long…
Waking up to prepare the kids for school wasn’t so much fun anymore. I wanted more sleep. I had to feed my youngest, run errands, prepare breakfast, lunch, dinner, clean up, laundry, fold clothes, homework, bed time drama.
At a point, I told myself that I couldn't keep up with the daily demands.
The kids were no longer excited with me, they would run to welcome their dad like they just saw a movie star, the routine of cleaning, picking up toys, laundry and cooking was driving me crazy. My days are still full, I still do not have time and I am still not happy.
Why do both at home and working mums struggle to find happiness? I realized that no matter what our employment status is have one thing in common - we are all Mums. Our jobs are similar with different experiences. I had to drop all my misconceptions:
Working moms care about their career more than their children
Being a stay at home mom is a roller coaster_ enjoyment life
Working Moms make all the money and wear expensive clothings
Stay at home moms have all the time in the world, they live a balanced life
This is my truth:
Most moms want to spend enough time to pray
Most of us have issues we are dealing with
Most of us think we can do better
Most of us cry at least once a month.
Some mums must work, we cannot afford not to
Most mums want to exercise and stay fit
We all love our children
We all need our me time
We all have our hobbies and dreams
We all need a hug, kiss and time from another mum
We all need a helpful and supportive village.
As I get ready to step into a new phase, I’d like to share some MUMMY tips that have helped me so far:
Make every day count
Utilize the family and friends in your life
Make Peace with your Purpose _ It’s in the journey of mummy hood
Making a decision about working or not comes from the needs and values of your family.
You are a great Mum, so am I.